Dress like a Darling Bud.

Florals – the perennial Spring/Summer trend – but with a delightfully mixed bunch of new season florals taking over our favourite Highstreet stores it's high time I sewed some seeds of advice on how to wear the floral trend.

Find out how to wear this seasons appliqué blooms:

http://www.yuppee.com/2012/06/28/darling-buds-julyaugust/

-ZB

Snow White and the Huntsman

Once upon a time, director Rupert Sanders and his band of merry writers began their quest to create an updated version of the family classic Snow White. It was a noble quest; they ditched helpful woodland animals and bobbed Disney princess' and opted for a darkness that seeps into the soul.

A modern fairytale was spawned, Snow White and the Huntsman, injecting the story with a darker tone that has long been missed. Yes - Sanders breathes life into the chirpy, witless, post-card-ready classic. He treats us to the "Once upon a time" voice over but quickly sets-up a jarring and haunting movie.


Much like its predecessors in the Snow White branch the tale follows a Princess whose wicked step mother Queen wants her guts-for-garters. But soon with the help of several dwarves and heart throbs a-plenty the Princess ascends to take on mommy dearest.


The cast is star-studded; from Kristen Stewert's tentative "Snow" to Charlize Theron's sensually terrifying performance as Queen Ravenna. In the contest for who's fairer - here, Theron comes out on top. Her presence is magnetic - she embodies the role of evil queen and still manages to look beautiful when ageing by the CGI-minute. While Kristen is left with little to say quite literally as the directors clearly cut her lines so as not to divert from the foolery of the American-English accent.


And not unlike the Twilight franchise Snow White and the Huntsman offers up two male leads: Huntsman Eric (Chris Hemsworth) and childhood sweetheart, William (Sam Clafin). Both play admirable roles but are quickly over-shadowed at the emergence of 7 very small but lovable characters - the dwarves. Bob Hoskins, Toby Jones, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Nick Frost and Ray Winstone took on the roles of vertically challenged forest dwellers who come to our heroine's aid. And while they were engaging and amusing, I found myself trying so hard to work out each actor that I was completely taken out of what little story there was at their point of arrival.


However, this is a bold rethinking of a familiar old-story which is alleviated by striking design elements and arresting visuals. The astonishing hallows of the eidolic forest with its cloaked ghouls and phantom mists stand in stark contrast to the faerie sanctuary. While the fairy grotto looked like a scene straight out of Avatar, with Aslan the Lion-king showing up mid-film in the shape of a CGI-stag, Sanders proved his below par visuals in Alice in Wonderland could be rectified in this startling screenplay.

Snow White and the Huntsman proves you don't need a magic mirror to tell which summer release is the fairest of them all. 

-ZB

Prometheus.

 

A poor man's Alien - Ridley Scott takes us on a voyage to another planet to meet our maker, we float over silver-grey vistas and ironically as the characters are woken from their stasis pods we are slowly lulled into slumber. 

What was promised was a film to rival Prometheus' predecessor: Alien; with Scott having dabbled in the sci-fi pit of extraterrestrial life and tentacle flailing facehuggers Prometheus was tipped to be a success, but what ensued was poor plot and even poorer acting.

Archaeologist couple Elizabeth and David Shaw head up a ship of tech-savy space geeks in a bid to meet the "engineers" who made them. Really there's not much plot from here; the mission results in a wipeout of the cast and a second journey which takes us full circle to everything we asked at the start of the film. 

Basically, while Prometheus asks "the most meaningful questions ever asked by mankind," in the words of one character, it really fails to answer any of them. We are as clueless at the end as the start.

The defunk of the plot was let down by the appalling acting by Noomi Rapace who plays a very unconvincing Elizabeth Shaw. Her character falls flat on all hurdles; her soul search was half-hearted and her love scenes were scarier than the creeps Scott attempted to stage.

Characters perish, but without great wit or design, and in fits and starts until we are just left with Rapace. The film can't fix on where it wants the action to occur, dragging the cast between the Apple-elegant fixtures of the good ship Prometheus and the dullened bio-horror chambers of the 'temple'. 

In fact, none of the characters were really likable its hard to empathise when the "heroic" characters are shrouded by bad acting and poor script.  It's plain to see the purse strings were tightened when it came to casting and script.

Evidently the $130 million budget was spent on the special effects; but the stunning visuals, gloopy madness, and sterling Fassbenderiness can't prevent Prometheus seeming like Alien's poor relation.

What Prometheus lacks in style and substance it makes up in special effects but unlike Alien's moniker "in space no one can hear you scream" Prometheus was stilted. I didn't scream. I didn't jump. I barely cringed.

I won't call this a space odyssey but to paraphrase the Alien campaign "in this space no one can hear me eulogize."

-ZB 

Avengers Assemble

Six superheroes for the price of one ticket, all with specific personalities, abilities and back stories that need to be wrangled into a cohesive fighting force. Yes - it is a task that Buffy creator Joss Whedon has taken on in bringing Marvel’s Avengers together at last with what is essentially a massive comic franchise toy box in which Whedon embarks in dollplay. And Whedon has used every toy in the box. 


Let's cut to the chase: Marvel's The Avengers is the movie comic book fans, who have been curled up in their parents' box rooms surrounded by the package bound figurines of Captain America, have been fantasizing about for half a century. The iconic six: Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow and the Hulk have featured in a string of recent solo summer movies priming the pump for the film that would bring them all together. But don't be fooled by this Marvel mash-up it is no sequel to the others; it's its own thing unto itself.

The plot is merely a side line to the legends. The world is about to end because of banished demigod, Loki, and so the heaviest hitters in the superhero circuit unite with a rep bigger than the West Side to defend the mere mortals. In essence a getting-the-lads-together story, The Avengers opens with a threat and ends with happy heroes and a devastated New York. 

Each of the characters are perfectly cast, from Samuel L. Jackson's sullen performance as Laden Fury to Robert Downey Junior's sharp-tongued Stark. Captain America is as ever pleasantly retro and Johanson's Black Widow unleashes some marvellous stunts. But the stand out performance is almost indefinitely Mark Ruffalo as Banner. His depiction of a man deftly controlling the tempests of his Jekyl/Hyde reality evokes stirring poignance and his slapstick humour is flawless.

All of this is spiced up by Whedon's engaging script; from witty lines and wise cracks to unexpected moments of action, the screenplay proved to be almost as legendary as its protagonists, adding levity from an otherwise storm and stress plot. Whedon proves he can combat wrenching emotion with effervescent lightness. This thematically resonant big-screen mythmaker ticks most of the boxes.

But, this isn't to say that The Avengers is without its weaknesses. While the character of Loki is gut wrenchingly detestable he hardly compares to comicdom's more legendary villains. Loki really doesn't compare to Marvel men like The Joker. And the dark and philosophical layering of Dark Knight seems a far cry from what we see here. However, when it comes to the true clichéd superhero movie great Odin's beard this film has got it!

-ZB 

We've had burns, we've had buns, we've had seasons in the sun.

We’re not famous for our tans, apart from some of the formidable orange glows brought to our attention by the cast of TOWIE and David Dickinson; but we rip off our tops and unleash our beer bellies and blinding white skin on the world as soon as the sun shows it's gleaming face.


With our beaches, beer gardens, National Parks, and endless supply of things to do in Britain, the sun poses as a beacon of freedom - probably connected with the touring Olympic flame at the moment - to finally get out and enjoy the world outside our rain stained panes.


Yes - there are plenty of things to do in Britain when it gets sunny, but as a nation we tend to go ever so slightly mad, maybe in shock, maybe it's sunstoke, but when we see that great burning ball of fire in the sky it's not long before clothes are off and chubby Brits sporting red tans enough to make a tomato blush are EVERYWHERE.


Go to Greece and see locals fashioning jeans in searing 35 degree heat. Come to Britain and see a Fat bloke with a perfectly imprinted vest on his pasty body in 16 degrees and light drizzle. Let that be a lesson to you, Greece [if not the only lesson at the moment *cough* euro's *cough*].


And as the ‘BBQ’ invites fall from your letter box to the dog's drooling face, groups of livestock around the UK are beginning to sense their impending doom. We’re rivalled only by Australia and America as a barbeque nation, if the sun is shining then we’ll invite the whole neighbourhood around for some burnt food. Most of the food comes out as a crispy molten hot lump of coal, but put it between two burger baps and you’ve got yourself a staple meal; we WILL smother it in our best friend: ketchup and we WILL insist on making a salad that no one will eat.


The suns comes out, the stereo volume HAS TO go up, and the windows, for the first time this year, are opened as wide as they can possibly go. Oh how the world has been waiting so long to overhear your music and now you finally have the chance to show us why you love Barry Manilow or that drum beat that goes on repetitively for 20 minutes (yes- I'm talking to you next door!)


But, a Brit would not be complete without a good moan about the weather. Sure, it's not pelting 5cm balls of ice or flooding our roofs but sure enough the novelty of the "glorious" weather will inevitably lead to cries of "it’s too hot now - it’s getting ridiculous" or nana gossiping with neighbours about how we'll all be "dropping like flies" soon.





Never-the-less we'll grab our flagon of Bow, we'll suffer the stifling heat and aid Dehydration in our bid to drink the beer garden empty for: this is England!




Enjoy your early summer Britain!
-ZB

10 Things I Didn't Know Last Week!

Inspired by Harry Hills "I certainly didn't expect to see that" segment on his TV phenomenon "TV Burp" I've  decided to put together a short blog on 10 news stories I've seen over the last week that, well, I'd have to have seen it to believe it!


1. You can age 50 years in a matter of days!
Vietnamese 20-something, Nguyen Thi Phuong, now looks like a septugenarian after the rapid aging affliction took hold following an allergic reaction to seafood. The 26 year old looks far her superior as the seafood sank her skin to OAP status. The syndrome with no cure leaves its victims, like Nguyen, with loose folds of skin all over the body, a wrinkled face and the gaunt features of someone decades their senior.
Read the story: www.telegraph.co.uk

2. Piranhas can talk too!
Piranhas seem to bark more than they bite as researchers reveal that these ferocious fish make noises to communicate with one another, including barks and croaks.
Read the Story: www.bbc.co.uk


3. 1 in 6 Mobiles have poo particles on them!
New research has found that one in every six mobile phones has dangerous bacteria that comes from poo on them. Research showed that poor hygiene meant phones were poo-ridden.
Read the story: cnn.com


4. Penguins rescued from Oil Slicks get Knitted Jumpers.
Its important for the distressed birds to be warm & happy, so the do-gooders wrap them up in little knitted numbers for a nights rest before the big clean.
Read the story: www.bbc.co.uk

5. You too can become a local Celeb with odd shaped vegetation!
 A Chinese farmer has become the talk of the town after unearting a quaint tortoise shaped potato.
Read the story: www.metro.co.uk


6. Blondes may be more fun- but brunettes make better friends and spouses.
Over 1/3 of the female population believe brunettes make better friends and get further up the career ladder and 80 per cent of females reckon brunettes make more faithful wives.
Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk


7. Sex can wipe your memory!
It seems there is "too much of a good thing" between the sheets, as scientists cite a woman who lost all recollection of the last 24 hours after doing the dirty.
Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk


8. Meerkats really are social animals.
Researchers studying the nation-loved meerkat in the Kalahari Desert, South Africa, played recordings of meerkat calls and observed the animals' reactions. They put it that the comparethemarket.com mascot recognise another member of their social group by the sound of their voice, according to scientists.
Read more: www.bbc.co.uk


9. Gorillaz need their 5-a-day too.
One hungry primate stole his family's entire supply of carrots and hiding in a corner gorged himself on his 5-a-day. 
Read more: www.metro.co.uk


10. Jodie Marsh is now a body builder.
A far cry from her "glamour" model days Jodie flexed her muscles last week and showed the new her.
See more: www.mirror.co.uk

-ZB

Wales vs France

Our nation awaits. Hearts pounding, stomachs fluttering across the Welsh Valleys. The Welsh flag flying over Downing Street and an estimated 65,000 Welsh Rugby fans (and fawning girls) will be congregating at the high altar of Welsh rugby - the Millennium Stadium, adorned in red from dawn tomorrow morning, when all across the land pubs and clubs, from Caernarvon to Cardiff, will be rolling back the shutters and saying a little prayer as the throngs arrive.

Extra beer has been quietly ordered and even the ever hopeful "honorary Welsh man" David Hasselhoff has promised to launch a fourth marriage proposal in two months, to his rugby loving Welsh-lass Hayley Roberts, if Wales can beat France at Eden Park.

The principality is almost paralysed with nerves so it was encouraging today to listen to their unflappable forwards' coach, Robin McBryde, to insist in Auckland that a predominantly young Wales team remain relaxed for what has been universally hailed as the biggest game of rugby in Welsh history. No pressure then lads!

But my knowledge of the Welsh Rugby team and Rugby in general leaves a lot to be desired, so as a treat for you readers (and hopefully a very pleased rugby enthusiast boyfriend) I've done a bit of research and formulated some form of "wins and losses of the France vs Wales game" (feel free to name it as you please as clearly my writing leaves a lot to be desired when talking sport too).

It seems the biggest single reason for a marked improvement in the Welsh team during this World Cup must be their ability to retain possession after a tackle and to then force turnovers. The team have even been dubbed one of the best in ruck efficiency in this tournament and the return of prop Gethin Jenkins has been a major factor. France have a very different back row, not quite as mobile but strong in the tackle, so critiques say they'll struggle when pitted against our Welsh lads speed. The ability of the French tight five and their midfielders to clear opponents out of rucks will be crucial and it is an area where Wales look to have an advantage.

Truly Scrum-ptious?
France pride themselves on their dexterity up front but they were given an undesirable first hour by the All Blacks in last month's match. They blamed Alain Rolland, (who btw is the referee for the semi-final) for allowing Tony Woodcock to get away with illegal binding (which I think is this idea of binding on the arm/ sleeve instead of the jersey. It will give you more purchase to pull down on the other prop leading to collapsing scrums.) And the loss of injured prop, Nicolas Mas left the French team lacking, but he's back tomorrow and will look to exploit Gethin Jenkins's preference for running around the field rather than scrummaging but Jenkins running pays off as he is a prop who is hard to pin down. The scrum was one of Wales's weakest areas in the summer without both Jenkins and Adam Jones, but Jones gave Cian Healy, the tormentor of Australia, an uncomfortable afternoon in last weekend's quarter-final, so perhaps the boys are back? 


The Lineout.
This is one of those areas Wales have improved during the World Cup. Luke Charteris has forced out Bradley Davies from the second row and, while that has given Wales less of a ball-carrying impact, Charteris is the tallest player in the tournament (hurrah!).  It is an area where Wales have become smarter but France have not varied their approach: most of the throws go to Imanol Harinordoquy or Julien Bonnaire at the back providing front-foot possession for the half-backs. Their second-rows are used sparingly but they are used to drive mauls from lineouts, a strategy Wales rarely employ.

Im getting "down" with defence. (I'm such a loser.)
Wales made the most tackles in this year's Six Nations, a total of 571, a total they have exceeded by three in this World Cup. Their back row attempted 65 tackles against Ireland last week and didnt miss one,withthe apparent "winning" strategy to go low and take the tackler to the ground to ensure there's no "mauling game" but more of a contest for the ball on the floor. But in contrast to Ireland's forwards Frances frontmen are more athletic and Wales will need one player to go high and another to go low. France's defence has been the worst of the four semi-finalists, with 11 tries leaked in their five matches and an uncomfortable Morgan Parra at fly‑half in defence. 

Attack! Attack!
Not long ago Welsh competitors reckoned that if they stopped Shane Williams, Wales would struggle to score a try. But France should take note because now Williams is still roaming the field but with a multipronged attack consisting of Jamie Roberts causing havoc with his bulldozing runs across midfield, and wing-man George North taking even more stopping. But France can be irresistible in attack, as they were in the first 10 minutes against New Zealand, and runners such as Maxime Médard, Vincent Clerc and Maxime Mermoz will no doubt challenge Wales in a way they have not been tested before. France will need to rely on their attack because they are unlikely to prevail in a war of attrition against such a well‑conditioned side.


Not so sure I'll be donning the red tomorrow and joining the fans- but I'll sure be up at dawn, in my jammies with my cheerios and tea to see if my new knowledge on rugby pays off. Good luck Wales!


-ZB