We've had burns, we've had buns, we've had seasons in the sun.

We’re not famous for our tans, apart from some of the formidable orange glows brought to our attention by the cast of TOWIE and David Dickinson; but we rip off our tops and unleash our beer bellies and blinding white skin on the world as soon as the sun shows it's gleaming face.


With our beaches, beer gardens, National Parks, and endless supply of things to do in Britain, the sun poses as a beacon of freedom - probably connected with the touring Olympic flame at the moment - to finally get out and enjoy the world outside our rain stained panes.


Yes - there are plenty of things to do in Britain when it gets sunny, but as a nation we tend to go ever so slightly mad, maybe in shock, maybe it's sunstoke, but when we see that great burning ball of fire in the sky it's not long before clothes are off and chubby Brits sporting red tans enough to make a tomato blush are EVERYWHERE.


Go to Greece and see locals fashioning jeans in searing 35 degree heat. Come to Britain and see a Fat bloke with a perfectly imprinted vest on his pasty body in 16 degrees and light drizzle. Let that be a lesson to you, Greece [if not the only lesson at the moment *cough* euro's *cough*].


And as the ‘BBQ’ invites fall from your letter box to the dog's drooling face, groups of livestock around the UK are beginning to sense their impending doom. We’re rivalled only by Australia and America as a barbeque nation, if the sun is shining then we’ll invite the whole neighbourhood around for some burnt food. Most of the food comes out as a crispy molten hot lump of coal, but put it between two burger baps and you’ve got yourself a staple meal; we WILL smother it in our best friend: ketchup and we WILL insist on making a salad that no one will eat.


The suns comes out, the stereo volume HAS TO go up, and the windows, for the first time this year, are opened as wide as they can possibly go. Oh how the world has been waiting so long to overhear your music and now you finally have the chance to show us why you love Barry Manilow or that drum beat that goes on repetitively for 20 minutes (yes- I'm talking to you next door!)


But, a Brit would not be complete without a good moan about the weather. Sure, it's not pelting 5cm balls of ice or flooding our roofs but sure enough the novelty of the "glorious" weather will inevitably lead to cries of "it’s too hot now - it’s getting ridiculous" or nana gossiping with neighbours about how we'll all be "dropping like flies" soon.





Never-the-less we'll grab our flagon of Bow, we'll suffer the stifling heat and aid Dehydration in our bid to drink the beer garden empty for: this is England!




Enjoy your early summer Britain!
-ZB