Prometheus.

 

A poor man's Alien - Ridley Scott takes us on a voyage to another planet to meet our maker, we float over silver-grey vistas and ironically as the characters are woken from their stasis pods we are slowly lulled into slumber. 

What was promised was a film to rival Prometheus' predecessor: Alien; with Scott having dabbled in the sci-fi pit of extraterrestrial life and tentacle flailing facehuggers Prometheus was tipped to be a success, but what ensued was poor plot and even poorer acting.

Archaeologist couple Elizabeth and David Shaw head up a ship of tech-savy space geeks in a bid to meet the "engineers" who made them. Really there's not much plot from here; the mission results in a wipeout of the cast and a second journey which takes us full circle to everything we asked at the start of the film. 

Basically, while Prometheus asks "the most meaningful questions ever asked by mankind," in the words of one character, it really fails to answer any of them. We are as clueless at the end as the start.

The defunk of the plot was let down by the appalling acting by Noomi Rapace who plays a very unconvincing Elizabeth Shaw. Her character falls flat on all hurdles; her soul search was half-hearted and her love scenes were scarier than the creeps Scott attempted to stage.

Characters perish, but without great wit or design, and in fits and starts until we are just left with Rapace. The film can't fix on where it wants the action to occur, dragging the cast between the Apple-elegant fixtures of the good ship Prometheus and the dullened bio-horror chambers of the 'temple'. 

In fact, none of the characters were really likable its hard to empathise when the "heroic" characters are shrouded by bad acting and poor script.  It's plain to see the purse strings were tightened when it came to casting and script.

Evidently the $130 million budget was spent on the special effects; but the stunning visuals, gloopy madness, and sterling Fassbenderiness can't prevent Prometheus seeming like Alien's poor relation.

What Prometheus lacks in style and substance it makes up in special effects but unlike Alien's moniker "in space no one can hear you scream" Prometheus was stilted. I didn't scream. I didn't jump. I barely cringed.

I won't call this a space odyssey but to paraphrase the Alien campaign "in this space no one can hear me eulogize."

-ZB