Pirates 4 is a Shipwreck.

I thought id take this time (as I can't sleep) to write a review on the recent swashbuckling blockbuster to hit the screens. Me and my boyfriend- armed with our Orange Wednesday- took to the cinema to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It is the fourth installment of the popular film franchise and the first among them which doesn’t include the characters we've learned to love; Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann (it also lacks the zany director of the first three films, Gore Verbinski). 


I recall hearing talk from dyed-in-the-wool POTC fans that they felt the series was – pardon the pun – sinking under the weight of it’s own bloat – having become congested with multiple, superfluous characters and confusing story-lines. So I, amongst other fans felt a hopeful buzz about the fourth film, as it promised to be pared down from the albatross that was the third film – focusing primarily on the beloved character Jack Sparrow and keeping the story somewhat simpler. The sad fact is it is simple-yes, but it is also incredibly dull.


If not for Capt. Jack Sparrow there would be absolutely no fun to be found in “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” the latest edition of Disney's waterlogged franchise. But Johnny Depp's  magical portrayal as Jack Sparra' back again as the swashbuckling miscreant somehow manages to keep this ship of fools afloat. But just barely. 

 With Rob Marshall newly at the helm as director, the hope was for a significant course correction after the bloat and confusion of 2007's “At World's End.” Though just why the studio turned to a director who has been struggling since helping “Chicago” win a best picture Oscar nearly a decade ago, is stranger than the tides. 


Depp, as I mentioned however, is in top form, Capt. Jacking his way along, charming the socks off of everyone with those mischievous, ever shifting, slightly winking, always twinkling eyes. A cameo that puts Depp across from his inspiration for the character, the Rolling Stones' Keith Richards, as lad and dad locked in a conspiratorial conversation is pure pleasure at least for the 12 or so seconds it's on screen. Most of the film's two-plus hours is taken up by the hunt for the legendary Fountain of Youth, but an unfolding storyline of what should have been a battle of good vs evil and a myriad of mermaids, pirates, zombies and enchantment was really a lull of endlessly new and boring characters who really couldn't replace Keira, Orlando or Bill. 


Newcomers Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane who play Angelica and Blackbeard, respectively, merely serve as a cosmetic purpose as fearsome and sex-candy pirates, as both failed to project any real menace or meaning to the plot – something especially surprising in regards to Ian McShane, who does horrifying better than anyone.





I didn't see the film in 3D but from rumours I hear its really not much better, and for double the price frankly- id save your money.


But with the film opening with $90.2 million just domestically, it's proven that Disney's franchise still has life, and the fandom has not wavered. But this POTC fan is going over board on this one-sorry Disney.  


-Abandoning ship-ZB